Letting You Go
by This Is My Escape
Summary: A series of unrelated one-shots with our favorite ship. Some will be rated M. Some will be angsty. All will be filled with Captain Swan goodness.
1. Letting You Go

**AN: Just a thing I did. Emma had a nasty cut on her forehead that wasn't tended to. She took a nasty fall, so this is my take on what could have happened next...**

** Also, just so everyone who reads this knows, I'm currently posting this from my grave. Because 4x02 KILLED me. Don't worry though... I died a happy death. Death by Captain Swan. Pretty awesome way to go, right? - Kate**

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><p>As soon as she no longer feels like a bloody icycle, he asks if she'd like to keep the heater near her feet. "Nah, I'm good. Blankets are enough now, I think."<p>

"Are you certain?"

"Mhmm," she answers, her eyes half-closed and a sleepy half-smile on her lips.

"On it!" Henry says and moves the heat box back to the other side of the room. Though her color is slowly (finally) starting to return. Emma's still cold. He's grateful for the boy's presence. Good lad, he is. He knows better than to take his mother's word for it.

"So…" Emma says so quietly that only he can hear. "You finally got your dashing rescue."

His brows twitch at her flippancy and he can't help snapping at her. "Not funny, Swan." His voice comes out choked, suddenly overcome with the realization for the hundredth time that evening just how close he came to losing her. "I thought I'd never see you again."

Her eyes open a bit more as his words seem to resonate. She sits further up in the chair and he tightens the hold they have on their hands. "Hey. I'm right here, it's okay. I'm okay."

He closes his eyes tightly, but when he feels her other hand rest atop their joined ones, he can't resist leaning forward. Feeling David's eyes on him, on them, but not caring in the slightest or bothering to verify, Killian presses his lips to his Swan's temple. Her father is the last thing on his mind, especially when he hears her hiss. He pulls back.

"Are you certain you're alright?" he asks, just as he notices the gash on her forehead. How had he not noticed that before? "Bloody hell, you're injured."

"It's a cut," she slurs. "It'll heal."

"I'm well aware what it is," he growls as Emma's mother, father, and son swarm her like moths to a flame. "The point is that you're so –"

"Emma?"

"Does it hurt?"

"I'll get ice!"

And then Mary Margaret is hurrying to the freezer box (he'll never understand the terminology _refrigerator) _and Henry is following her into the kitchen . "Her hot cocoa is almost ready, right Grandpa?"

"Right," Dave replies distractedly, cupping his daughter's chin in his hand. "Emma, does your head hurt?"

Instantly on guard, he nudges him. "What is it, mate?"

"Look at me." David ignores Killian's question and he turns to look into her eyes as her mother gingerly rests an ice pack against Emma's purplish skin. Her eyes are unfocused, her pupils enlarged.

"No," he whispers and David repeats his request to Emma. "Emma, _look _at me."

Henry returns with the heated beverage, having heard every word. "She okay?"

"I'm fine, I just wanna look at the insides of my eyelids," she whines and Killian feels his heart slam painfully against his ribcage, and not in the good way. "I'm warm, alright, just let me sleep." She tries to snuggle against him again, but he pries her off of him. "I thought you'd be loving this."

"Aye." He smiles sadly as he responds, she's no idea. "Under any other circumstance…look at your father, love."

"Does your head hurt?"

"It's been pounding since I fell."

"She's got a concussion," he murmurs, frowning and licking his lips nervously.

"That's what it looks like."

David stands to his as Emma's head lulls lifelessly against Killian's chest. "Emma." He shakes her gently. "You can't sleep, darling. Open your eyes."

No response and he feels his heart leap into his throat. Not again.

"Emma?"

"Mom?"

David pulls her from his arms and he willingly lets her go, if he can't help then surely her father can and he watches as he carries his Swan over to the couch.

"We need to take her to the hospital!" Mary Margaret cries, pulling out her cellular device and dialing so swiftly he barely sees the action take place.

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><p>Hours pass with no news.<p>

Until they finally get some.

Whale walks out, looking at them all with a solemn expression and then his eyes drop.

_No._

"My apologies, but…Miss Swan slipped into a coma."

And at those words, he feels every emotion bleed from him leaving him utterly numb.

"That's not all."

_How can it possibly get any worse?_

"When Emma fell through the ice, the impact was enough to cause a cerebral hemorrhage. She'll need surgery."

Nearly three weeks pass from that horrific evening, and Emma still hasn't responded. The operation went beautifully, the doctor said but physical proof has yet to make itself known. She hasn't improved, though he supposes he should be glad that her condition hasn't worsened either.

He'd know too as he's every waking moment by her side. Her family visits every day, but the Nolan family has a newborn and Henry's got school. The only reason he's not been kicked out after visiting hours is because he told the staff he's family. Whale knew the truth, and Whale knew better than to keep him from her.

However, if he'd kept her away from that blasted ice wall, none of this would have happened.

They'd be enjoying a quiet dinner…or perhaps not, he thinks. Not with their luck. Their third date would have been more likely to consist of an ice storm or something of that sort.

"You know, love" he tries a hand at light-hearted conversation. "If you wanted more attention, all you had to do was ask."

Her face remains as soft and still as it's been for the last few weeks and he's more than aware at how flat his joke fell. His eyes burn and his vision blurs with unshed tears.

He leaves his chair to sit on the stiff hospital bed next to her and lets his left arm fall against her abdomen and his hook catches on one of the threads of her bed sheets. He doesn't bother to detach it.

"I can't do it," Killian chokes out, "Emma, please, I can't do it." His good hand carefully pushes a strand of hair behind her ear. A brush hasn't been taken to her hair once. It's ratted and dirty, and yet, she's as stunning to him as the first moment he laid eyes on her. If this is one of his last he ever shares with her… "I can't lose anyone else, love. Not again. Not you. _Please._" He lets out a shaky breath before stroking her cheek, soft as the petal of the most delicate rose, and kisses her lips while his tremble against them.

He pulls back and bows his head, while he absent-mindedly strokes her sheet-covered thigh with his the back of his hook, never ceasing to stroke the side of her face with his good hand.

And then something strange takes place.

A sharp gust of wind pushes through his hair, and his teary eyes whip open.

"What the hell happened?" a voice, a _beautiful_ voice grumbles and his head snaps up to catch her green eyes with his.

"You're awake!" he cries in delight, nearly falling off the bed but righting himself in time. "Bloody hell, Emma, you're awake." A smile forms on his Swan's lips and she nods. "I can't believe it," he manages to get out before failing to resist capturing her lips in a hard kiss. She groans and he rips himself away. "I'm sorry, love, was I too rough?"

"No," she answers breathlessly, "I just didn't realize how much I missed that. You." He laughs as more tears – this time because of joy – slip from his eyes. "How long was I out?"

"It doesn't matter, you're here now." Her hand finds his, tangling their fingers, and it makes his heart jump in the most wonderful way. "You're here and I'm never letting you go again. Gods, love, you frightened me."

"Freaked myself out, too."

He kisses the back of her hand, the one still twined with his. "You saved me…didn't you?"

"I believe so…you weren't improving any and I was babbling nonsense about losing people…and your lips are always tempting me –"

"Killian –"

"You've tempted me from the beginning, you know, and –"

"Hook!" she exclaims, it's quiet and painful he gathers by the wince she sports at the outburst, but it instantly causes his mouth to snap shut. "Thank you."

"No need for that, I'd do it the instant we realized you'd been concussed if I'd known. I…should alert Whale on your consciousness." Before he can clench his jaw and stand to leave, she says his name again.

"Aye?"

Emma gives him a look. "Stop blaming yourself."

"Pardon?" he says, though his lips tease a sideways grin.

"I'm not the only open book around here."

"It appears not," he says before swallowing hard, revealing his inner most thoughts then and there. "I love you, Emma."

Another smile graces her face. His heart jumps another time. "I'm pretty fond of you too."

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><p><strong>AN: Thank you for reading. Reviews are love! ~Kate<strong>

**I'm on twitter: _ThisIsMyEscape**

**I'm on tumblr: thisismytumbleescape**


	2. A Damn Thing

**AN: Another one-shot! Looks like this is going to be a fic of unrelated one-shots seeing as this particular one was inspired by**** 4.04. Once I got going I couldn't stop. It's angsty, so...hope those who read enjoy! ~Kate  
><strong>

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><p>He thought that by being honest, all he's ever been with his love, that his wrong doings (blackmailing the Crocodile, aiding the same man in ridding him of his enemy) would be forgiven. And they were. She understood, as she always does.<p>

But it wasn't enough, knowing that his honesty saved his relationship with Emma.

Killian pushed his luck by going to Belle anyway. The lass needed to know what genuine scum she'd married and in the process he destroyed Rumpelstiltskin and Belle's marriage. It was but a small price to pay for a perfectly clean slate with his Swan.

He watches now, helplessly, as the monster he's loathed for so many years raise his dagger threateningly at Emma, and because he's been entrapped by a magical cage, he can't do a damn thing to help her.

_"If you go after my love, you will surely lose yours."_

He'd assumed the bloody Crocodile meant something less literal. He told Belle the truth about Rumpelstiltskin so he (expecting something along those same lines) quickly came clean about punching Will (repeatedly) and aiding the Dark One in one of his schemes.

Never did he think he'd physically go after Emma…but of course he would. It made sense. It's happened before, after all.

He lost Milah to the Dark One wanting revenge. It didn't matter that she was Bae's mother. He murdered her. It doesn't matter that Emma is Henry's mother. He's about to do the same.

History is going to repeat itself.

He cries Emma's name when he watches her get slammed against an old crate. However, his screaming is for not - the monster has an invisible barrier surrounding him, a soundproof box. He's completely trapped and until the Dark One drops the magic encompassing him, he isn't going anywhere.

Emma scrambles to her feet and lifts her hands up to fend off the attack, to use her magic. She looks dazed but determined, quickly coming back to her senses and poising for a fight. Pride surges through him, though it's short lived when dagger suddenly disappears from Rumpelstiltskin's hand. It reappears mere inches from her body, and suddenly it flies through the air and into her abdomen.

And then he watches the dagger dig into Emma's abdomen and Killian swears his heart stops just as the magic keeping him in place fades away and then he bolts, dropping to his knees and catching his love in his arms just as her knees buckle out from beneath her.

"K-Killian?"

There's so much blood, too much for a person to be able to live without, so he throws his hand over wound - not daring to remove the weapon for fear of making it worse - and attempting to staunch the flow.

"Shh, love you're going to be just fine."

Her eyes are losing their light, and he feels panic swiftly begin to consume him and tears burn furiously in his own as he begs her to stay with him.

And then her head lulls lifelessly to the side and he feels like someone has just taken his heart and crushed it to dust.

"I told you what would happen if you defied me, dearie."

His head snaps up and finds the Dark One holding his dagger, blood dripping off the end and Killian can't withhold the tortured cry that escapes his lips.

"Kilian!"

He shoots up, panting as though he's run a marathon, his heart slamming like a well-bred steed inside his chest and feels someone gripping at his bicep. He chances a look to his left, and a lump lodges inside of his throat at finding his Swan, safe and whole, lying beside him.

"You alright?" she asks, concern in her voice and on her face. "You're shaking."

"No, love, I'm not…but I will be." He turns and captures her lips, cradling her face with his hand and wrapping his other arm around her waist. Their mouths move in perfect time together and he dreads the thought of his dream becoming a reality.

He's not going to do a damn thing, he thinks, it might have only been a nightmare, but he'd be a bloody fool to chance actually carrying out his previous idea to exact another blackmail scheme.

Those words though, continue to ring in his head.

_"If you go after my love, you will surely lose yours."_

He'd rather do the Dark One's bidding for the rest of his life, than to risk doing anything that could endanger Emma's life.

No.

He's not going to do a damn thing.

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><p><strong>AN: As if I could actually kill off one of them. Thanks so much for reading, &amp; please review! ~Kate<strong>


	3. Memento

**Yes, I posted this as a one-shot, but since this story's about one-shots I went ahead and posted it here instead. I hope you all enjoy. Thanks to Jen for beta-reading and pre-reading. ~Kate**

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><p>Ever since she's admitted to Killian her fear of losing him, she's found herself reflecting.<p>

Neal was her first love. While she made choices, both good and bad, during her time with him, she'll never regret it. Those choices gave her Henry.

Graham was the first person since Neal that she could see having a real future with. He was sweet, and warm, and he made her want to open up.

August was someone who was nothing but a brief flash in her life. Charming and honest, and someone that was taken from her before she could admit feelings for him had been brewing.

And then there's Killian. The infamous Captain Hook, most fearsome pirate the world has ever known. He's got a metal hook for a hand, striking blue eyes that can freeze a person with one glance and a commanding persona that makes even the most confident person question themselves.

He's also the most loyal, trusting person she's met. Aside from her family, he's the _only _person she trusts. He took her off guard, one look and she knew she was in trouble. She fought her feelings from day one. That smirk he held as he introduced himself dampened her panties and throughout their mission of acquiring the compass needed to make it back to Storybrooke made her realize that there was something more to this man who had a hook for a hand.

"Emma?" The lilted voice causes a smile to spread over her face, and she lifts her eyes to meet his. "What's that you've got there?"

Her fingers, that had been playing with the shoe strings twisted around her wrist, pause.

"They're a memento, something to remember someone by."

"I know what a memento is, love, what I don't know is who it's for."

He walks up to her and presses a kiss to her forehead before taking a seat beside her at the counter. Her parents have gone for the weekend, a getaway that they both desperately need. Baby Neal is asleep, she's babysitting her little brother until they return and Killian's quiet arrival is much appreciated.

His fingers caress her makeshift bracelet before sliding his fingers in between hers, his thumb dancing over the back of her hand.

"Remember that night…" she tries to say, hating her vulnerability, but at the same time feeling an immense about of relief for being open with him. "When…"

"You told me about your fear of losing me." He squeezes her hand, lifting it and bringing it to his lips. "It'll never happen, but of course I remember."

Another smile lifts at the corner of her mouth. "One of the guys I mentioned, these were the strings he used to tie up his boots."

"Should I be jealous of a dead man, love?"

"No," she chuckles. "Course not, but I always keep something of someone's. Neal's keychain was a reminder to never trust anyone. These were a reminder not to get too close to anyone because you could lose something in a blink of an eye. Nothing's permanent."

His brows dip together and he gives a confused grin. "And yet you also admitted that night to trusting me. I've never told you a lie, but have you told me one?" His tone is teasing as he seemingly ignores her last memento, but she can also see the thin layer of doubt in his gaze.

"Not at all, Killian. I was honest with you. I used to wear it around my neck, his keychain, but then as I realized it was okay to open myself up to you, to trust you, I took it off and haven't worn it since." She swallows. "But these shoestrings…I can't seem to make myself untie them. They're worn, I'm surprised they haven't fallen apart yet, but –"

"You don't need to remove them if it makes you uneasy. I'm not that insecure, darling. Your mementos are precious to you for a reason, they're reminders, and I'd go so far as to call them lessons, and I never want you to feel the need to placate me by getting rid of one prior to your readiness."

Tears prick at her eyes, but not out of sadness. Love. How someone who came into her life out of the blue, when she wasn't looking, when she wasn't ready, when she doubted she'd ever find something true and then turned her life upside down. How he could be so understanding, even after knowing what this damn bracelet represents, he doesn't care.

"Emma, you will let me in fully when you're ready for us, and not a moment sooner." He smirks, a combination of certainty and love in his eyes and then adds, "I won't stand for anything else."

"Can I tell you something?" she says and when he gives a nod, his dark hair briefly falling into his eyes (he didn't style it to perfection today though it looks perfect anyway). "Graham – the person these shoestrings belong to – died from a heart attack."

Killian frowns and then sits straighter, as if bracing himself for her story.

"The funny thing is, he was the textbook image of a healthy person. He might have eaten too many doughnuts but he was active. His breathing seemed strong, after stakeouts he never seemed too fatigued, and prior to the night he died he told me he'd gone rock climbing and wanted to try something more challenging. Tell me how that makes sense! The only thing that was, I don't know, _not_ okay with Graham was his mental health. I thought he was crazy. It was before I believed in everything I do now, but when he started spouting things about not having his heart, wolves following him and there being an entirely different life he'd once led, I thought he'd lost his mind."

"Shh, love, the babe's still asleep."

She hadn't realized she'd been speaking louder, but she's never felt right about the circumstances of his death, but now that she's really thinking about it, really questioning the event after all the facts she's just given, she thinks it might not have been his failed heart after all. "Graham was healthy, Killian," she repeats, being mindful of her sleeping sibling upstairs.

"I believe it's possible to become ill, Emma. I once had the flu – terrible it was. Healthy one minute, literally lurching toward a basin to purge into the next."

"People don't just drop dead like that – not healthy people, anyway. No, there are signs before someone…symptoms…"

"You think there's more to it?" Killian asks, his accented voice soft as silk.

"I think there's a reason I lost Graham that night, yeah." Her pirate sighs and his grip on her hand loosens slightly. Her eyes shoot from the table to his face and there's a flash of pain on his face before he masks over it with indifference. "Killian…"

"Don't worry about me, I'm fine. You lost someone important to you and I'm familiar with that pain meself. I just don't like watching you suffer…or rather, _still _suffer through it. How long has it been?"

"Almost three years," she answers thickly. "I miss him. He was a good guy, and I'll probably always wonder what…"

"_Don't blame her," Graham says hesitantly but firmly, stepping in front of her protectively as they found Regina walking towards the crypt they blocked. "It's my fault – I wanted to look in there."_

"_Really, why? What were you looking for?" The mayor's questions seemed innocent enough, but the tone screamed suspicion._

"_Nothing, uh…it was nothing." She couldn't take it anymore, she hurried down the short steps of the mausoleum and stood beside Graham while Regina and the sheriff confronted each other._

"_You don't look well, dear."_

_No, he really didn't. He seemed shaken and scared and she was worried that his sanity was slipping._

"_Let's take you home," Regina said while grabbing his hand but Graham yanked it back._

"_No, I don't want to go home." The look on the mayor's face was priceless, but then he slammed her with his next words. "Not with you."_

"_Oh? But you'll go with her."_

_Ah, shit. "Hey, this is between you two. Leave me out of it."_

"_She's right," Graham said, causing a look of disgust to appear on Regina's face "It's between us and things have to change."_

"_And I wonder why that is all of a sudden."_

"_It has nothing to do with her," he snapped passionately. "You know I've realized that I don't feel anything with you? And I know now that it's not me. It's you."_

"_So you're leaving me for her." The statement was exactly that, not a question like the words would normally sound being said. _

"_I'm leaving you for me."_

"_Graham you're not thinking straight."_

"_Actually for the first time, I am. I'd rather have nothing than settle for less. Nothing is better than what we have," he said to the mayor. "I need to feel something, Regina, and the only way to do that is to give myself a chance." _

_She couldn't help the smile that crept on her face, she'd known that phrase far too well. She wanted to give Henry his best chance. Give herself her best chance._

"_Graham," Regina laughed._

"_I'm sorry, it's over."_

"_I don't know what I ever did to you, Miss Swan, to deserve this," she said with teary eyes, "to have you keep coming after everything that I hold dear –"_

"_I told you it's not her," Graham pressed. _

"_None of this happened until she got here," Regina bit out._

_Ugh. "I'm sorry," she said, tired of listening to the woman victimize herself. "You ever stop to think that maybe the problem isn't with _me, _but with you?"_

_Hatred. That's all she could think of to describe the look Regina sported as she sneered, "Excuse me?"_

"_Henry came and found _me_. Graham kissed _ _ were miserable. Maybe, Madam Mayor, you need to take a good hard look in the mirror and ask yourself why that is. Why is everyone running away from _you?_"_

"Then I hit her," she adds after recalling one of her last moments with Graham, being tainted with Regina's insecurity and sucker punch. "He pulled me off her and I decided it wasn't worth deforming her face." She licks her lips and sucks her lower one in between her teeth. "God, she couldn't even see the truth past her own jealousy…she thought I'd stolen him away when it was her heartlessness that made it easier for him to just walk away."

"Didn't you say he didn't feel anything?"

"Yeah?" she scoffs, "But how could he feel something for someone so cold. She was an ice queen…not to bring up our latest problem, but…"

"You said he claimed about not having his heart, love…do you think…" he shakes his head. "No, I'm sure it was just his way of saying something was missing in his life, as you previously said in your tale."

"Not having his heart," she murmurs, feeling a tear streak down her cheek, and her eyes widen as soon as Killian wipes it away with his thumb. "His heart attack…I was with him when he died…he clawed at his chest, the pain in his eyes…, oh my god, maybe it wasn't a heart attack after all."

The pieces fall together. His constantly saying he was heartless, the pain in his eyes as his legs buckled and the life faded from his eyes, the jealousy in Regina's gaze – she was an entirely different person then.

She shoots up from her chair and makes a beeline for the door, grabbing her jacket and slipping into it.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"To have a chat with Regina." She can't help the biting tone in her voice, but if her instincts are right – and usually, they're dead on – then she's banking on it being one hell of a conversation.

"Emma, you're not about to confront her!" he whispers sharply, catching her elbow with his hook and whirling her around, his right hand caressing her cheek, concern in his eyes and his pleading stare. "Don't do this."

"I need to find out the truth. If she killed him…." Her voice is shaky and his thumb strokes over her cheek, and admittedly it's the thing that's keeping her from totally losing it. "I deserve the truth, Killian."

"You absolutely deserve the truth, love, but you're not the only one who's afraid of losing someone they care about." He pulls her close and she goes willingly, pressing her face into the collar of his new leather jacket, loving the way his smell has mixed with it. It's become an addiction and it instantly soothes her. "She can hurt you and I might be a pirate, but I can't stand against magic. If she uses hers against you I can't stop her, and if she hurts you…or worse…I'm not sure I'll survive it."

She gives a watery smile, but sarcasm escapes her lips. "So much for you being a survivor."

"When it comes to loving you, Emma Swan, I'm about as useless as a ship is without a rudder." Without waiting for her response, he catches her lips in a kiss, causing her knees to weaken as she melts into his arms. His hand moves from her cheek to bury itself in her hair and her arms wrap around his waist and she steps closer still, needing their distance to be as close to zero as it can get.

When they finally pull away, they're breathless and gulping down air, foreheads resting against each other while Killian continues to hold her near to him.

"I know I've just dropped a heavy burden on you. I apologize for that but I couldn't keep it to myself any longer."

"I love you too." Her response removes the weight he thinks he's just given her off of her shoulders, but it wasn't his 'burden.' No, the burden that had been weighing her down was her own denial of how she feels, how she's _been_ feeling for a helluva long time. "But I'm going." He tenses in her arms and she gives him another kiss, albeit a quick one, before ducking out the door and temporarily leaving her pirate behind.

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><p>She's pounding on the door. The distance from her home to Regina's caused her anxiety and desperation to grow and she won't let up until she gets her answer.<p>

The door finally opens and Regina is wiping sleep from her eyes. "Miss Swan," she greets with a yawn, a mixture of confusion and annoyance apparent on her face. "It's nearly midnight, have you nothing better to do than wake me and –"

"Regina?" a sleepy, male voice asks. "Who's at the door?"

"Robin's here?" she asks with surprise.

"Yes, well," her irritation fades and a rosy color blossoms on her cheeks. "Turns out that after Henry and I healed Marian, and Robin told her that True Love's Kiss failed, that she decided her marriage with Robin is over. They're in the process of a divorce as we speak."

Temporarily distracted by this information her jaw drops. "Wow…I…"

"It's a lot," Robin says, stepping into the doorway and curling an arm around Regina's robed shoulders before kissing her temple. "But we're both happier because of it. Time will heal Marian's heart, she'll find her true love, and I've got mine."

"I'm sorry, I just…" she presses her fingers to her forehead trying to process this news, but then remembers the reason for her visit. "I need to talk to you, Regina."

"It can wait until the morning, I'm sure."

"No," she growls. "It can't."

Robin nods and says, "It's alright, darling, talk to Emma and then come back to bed." He turns and leaves the two standing in the doorway, and Regina wraps her robe tighter around herself and steps outside, shutting the door behind her.

"Excuse my rudeness, but it's late and I'm tired. What do you want?"

"Did you murder Sheriff Graham?" she blurts out, unable to tiptoe her way into the reason she's standing in front of the former Evil Queen. "Did you crush his heart?"

She watches as the color bleeds from Regina's face and her breath come out in a whoosh of air. "Emma, I –"

"Answer the question!" Tears fill both of their eyes and she can't believe it. She knows the answer judging by the lack of one, but she needs to get it out of her. She needs to hear it for herself. "Is the reason that one of the kindest people in Storybrooke and one of your flings, and one of my friends is dead because you killed him? It's an easy question! Yes or –"

"YES!" she cries. "He was falling for you! He said he left me for himself, but you were a small part of that too and we both know it."

Before she knows it's happening, her own hand is meeting Regina's face in a harsh slap. "You murdered someone out of _jealousy?"_

Rubbing her cheek that holds a red handprint, the woman answers tearfully with, "That isn't the only reason. He was remembering too much. I wasn't expecting anyone to remember that, but he was remembering life before the curse I cast. And when I realized he was developing feelings for you…that was the last straw."

"An innocent is dead because of you!" she screams, and purple magic flies from Regina's hands and immobilizing her, keeping her from attacking the bitch again. "How can you live with yourself?"

"Because I'm not the same woman that I was," she whimpers, "Emma, I've regretted that night ever since it happened. I didn't even want to do it, but I was hurt and I wasn't ready for the town to remember who they were yet."

"You could have said something a lot earlier."

Regina laughs bitterly. "Yes, you're right, Miss Swan. 'Pardon me, but while you and our son enjoy a cup of hot chocolate and cinnamon, let me admit to the fact that I'm the reason you took over as Sheriff years ago.' Brilliant idea."

"It's better than your silence! You never said anything, you lied!"

"I never lied, I just didn't come out with the truth." The magic from around her fades and Regina lowers her hands in defeat. "I'll regret killing Graham for as long as I live, Emma, but I can't live in the past anymore."

"I know what that's like….but to tell you the truth, I don't know what I'm more disappointed by," Emma says, wiping her tears with the back of her jacket sleeve. "The fact that you kept this hidden so long, or the fact that you're the reason Graham isn't here. You claim to have changed, but good people are honest, Regina. You might not have outright lied, but you were the farthest thing from honest."

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><p>She slumps tiredly against the door when she gets home, both physical and emotional fatigue threatening to take her under before she's made it halfway inside.<p>

"You're still here," she breathes with a weak, tired smile when Killian envelops her in his embrace.

"You left Neal," he smirks. "Wasn't about to leave the little lad all by his lonesome."

"Shit! I'm such a bad sister!" She rakes a hand through her hair, dumbfounded that her rage erased her memory of the responsibility she has this weekend. "I'm so sorry, thank you so much for watching him."

"It wasn't horrible, calm down. He was well behaved, woke but once and I sang him to sleep."

He continues to talk but she's stuck on the fact he sang, and an image of him singing a lullaby to an infant with blonde hair and blue eyes flitters across her mind before she shakes it off. They might be honest with how the feel but holy hell is thinking about that kind of stuff too soon. But she can see that future with him and it causes butterflies to erupt inside of her.

"Sweetheart?" She blinks rapidly, refocusing on him and he takes her hand into his. "You're in one piece, thankfully…but did you get your answer?" She can't verbally response so she nods her head and his hold on her hand tightens, apparently that being the only answer _he _needs because he says, "I'm so sorry, Emma."

"I can't help but think what it would be like if Graham were still here."

"I never knew the man," he says gently, "but you can bet that I'd compete with him for your affections as I did with Neal. I'd win then too." He brushes his lips across hers. "You look exhausted, love. Go to sleep, I'll keep watch over the babe."

"I love you," she whispers. He's been there for nearly ever crisis that's occurred since he's arrived in Storybrooke. He's been there for her.

He's been her rock, and the more time she spends with him, the more she's certain that while not every relationship in her life has been permanent, her relationship with Captain Hook is.

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><p><strong>AN: This one-shot truly hit me like a ton of bricks with Adam's quote and while I'm not entirely sure if Emma will ever learn the truth, this story deserved to be told. And of course it was a Captain Swan fic because he's the first person since Graham (Walsh was a joke) that she can, quite simply, <strong>_**truly**_** see herself with. Thank you for reading, and please review! ~Kate**


	4. Something Like That

**AN: Based off of 4x09's spoiler that Adam just released. Yes, I had to do it. ~Kate**

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><p>Her parents and baby Neal are currently talking amongst themselves when she sees him enter the sheriff's office. He pauses momentarily when their eyes meet, and then he rushes forward.<p>

"You shouldn't be here," she says to him, trying to keep her voice firm but not able to keep the smile off her face. His presence calms her, like it does now, though it should be frightening her. "You know what's going to happen."

"Aye." He gives her a nod, dropping his eyes and then reluctantly meeting hers again. "It's just – I needed to see you."

"Well, here I am," she smiles as she takes a step closer to him. "You've seen me. Now go, before the curse gets here and you want to destroy me."

"I don't find that amusing, love." He glares at her. Even as he hooks a thumb into a loop of her jeans and tugs her closer. "Not even a little bit."

"My parents are here, you know."

"I don't plan to ravish you on one of these desks, Emma," he says quietly, and seriously, before looking over her shoulder and at Mary Margaret and David. "I need to apologize for anything I've said or done that's hurt you in the past, or anything I will say or do tonight when this curse hits."

"Hey, where is all this coming from?" she asks gently. Something is wrong, something is upsetting him more than this curse. It's unnerving them all but she doubts it would affect Killian this much. "I know whatever happens, you won't mean it. But I doubt it will because Elsa and I are working to stop it before it sets foot in Storybrooke, okay? You're gonna be fine."

He closes his eyes with a sigh and a sad smile. "I'll hold you to that, love."

"You doubting me, pirate?" she teases and he opens his eyes and shakes his head.

"Never." He wraps an arm around her waist, neither of them caring that they're being watched. "Emma, I –"

"I get the feeling you're trying to tell me goodbye," she whispers with a frown. "Not fair, considering you spent all this time pursuing me…you finally get me and now you're gonna drop me?"

He laughs at that, a short, pained laugh before pressing a kiss to her forehead. "No, my love, I'd dread the outcome of that choice. Besides, there are many things I'd wish I could simply _drop_, never to see or hear or deal with again, but you, Emma Swan, are never and have never been one of them."

"You speak a mean before-battle speech there, Killian." Her eyes burn and her throat feels tighter than normal, though she doesn't know why. She only recognizes that something feels wrong. "Are you gonna hide out until we can save you guys?"

Another nod as she watches the muscles of his jaw tick. "Something like that."

"Alright, well, I'll see you…" her voice breaks and a tear slips down her cheek, "I'll see you after this is all over, right?" She strokes each side of his face with her hands, feeling the stirrings of panic bubble inside of her when he doesn't respond right away. "Killian."

"I should go, Emma."

He begins to bull away but she steps forward, closing the distance between them and pressing her lips to his. Tears fall more quickly now and she can her mother's gasp and her father's clearing of his throat but she doesn't remove her lips from Killian's. No, she'll keep his lips locked on hers until he pulls away.

And then to her immense dismay, he does.

"Goodbye, love."

The feeling that something is horribly wrong intensifies as he turns around and walks away from her.

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><p><strong>AN: Thanks for reading, &amp; please review! ~Kate<strong>


	5. Show Me What You've Got

**AN: I know many of us are wanting to know what happened during the missing scene of Emma restoring Hook's heart and her taking shots with Regina. Enjoy! ~Kate**

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><p>Eyes closed and breaths being inhaled and exhaled evenly, Kilian slept.<p>

"_I can't lose you, too."_

She ran her fingers through her hair as a small smile spread across her lips. She remembered telling him those words, and his promise of being a survivor. He'd kept it, but just barely. She'd spent the night watching him sleep, afraid to doze off for even a minute. She'd been so close to losing him, and had Belle not arrived when she did, she would have. She made a mental note to thank her for the tenth time as she remembered back to when they'd arrived at Granny's just hours before.

He'd handed her his missing organ, and instantly terrified of dropping it, she cradled it like the precious thing it was. She'd momentarily been mesmerized by it, strong, vibrant, pure – save for the minute dark spot (no doubt a result of Rumple's manipulation). "We can take you and it to Regina. She knows how to –"

"Nonsense," he replied. "You'll do it."

"I –" she paused, "_what?_ No, Killian, I don't know how."

"You can do it." She shook her head frantically, trying to ignore the confidence on his face as his focus slid from his heart to meet her eyes. She'd never forgive herself if she was the reason she ending up losing him. "Swan, you're the only one I trust with it."

"I could kill you," she whispered, her throat tightening painfully.

He gave her a beautiful smile in return and had she not been so panicked, she was sure she would have melted. "You won't," he told her, lifting his hand to the side of her face, stroking her cheek with his thumb. "I believe in you, Emma."

Biting her lip, and taking a deep breath, she decided to grant him his wish. She was anxious and didn't want to cause him more pain than necessary, but she'd grant him his wish.

"Just be gent–ungh!" he grunted, eyes slamming shut, and losing his footing at the pain as she dove in – literally – with shoving his heart back to the place it belonged. He cocked his head to the side, trying to shake himself out of it.

"Sorry," she said with a wince. "I just thought if I did it quickly it would be like ripping off a –"

And then it was his turn to cut her off with an unexpected – though more than welcome – invasion as his mouth claimed hers in a bruising kiss. He backed her against the wall, cradling her head in his hand to soften the blow.

They poured everything, every fear, every relief, every emotion they could into that one kiss. He was telling her that he was alive, safe. She was telling him that she'd have been lost without him.

"I told you, Swan," he said against her lips, coaxing a smile from her as he did the same. "I'm a survivor." He'd rested his forehead against hers and like moths to a flame, her mouth met his.

Tongues dancing together, and when hands began to drift south of their hips, both agreed it would be wise to move their reunion into his room.

She'd clutched the lapels of his leather jacket, pulling him closer to her though he seemed all too willing to gratify as his arms hooked around her waist and closed what little distance was between them. He'd backed her against the door after slamming it shut with his boot and his hips had pressed against hers, causing her to moan in delight. His lips slid from her mouth to her jaw, and then to her neck, where he pressed several scorching kisses along her skin.

He seemed just as desperate to be with her as she with him, but when she made the first move by reaching for the waist of his jeans, he froze, his lips pausing against her throat as hot wafts of air escaped them.

"Swan," he whispered, panting. "What are you doing?"

"I'm trying to be with the man I love."

Lifting his head, Killian's gaze locked on hers. "Forgive me," he said with a clearing of his throat, "but I'm going to have to ask you to repeat yourself."

"I'm trying to be with the man I love," she repeated, her voice stronger, more certain. Now that she'd admitted it, she realized she was a fool to have ever denied it. "Killian, I love y–"

Before she could finish her declaration, Killian had crushed his mouth to hers. He lifted her up, wrapping her legs around his waist and began the journey to his bed as a swarm of butterflies took flight in her stomach. Finally. Lowering her down to the mattress, he crawled on top of her, bracing himself with both his hand and his hook.

Two pools of blue stared at her, shining in the light, nothing but pure happiness in their depths. He leaned down to press a more gentle kiss against her lips before mumbling against them, "Are you certain this is what you want?"

She cupped her hand around his neck, running her tongue along his lower lip. "Bloody hell," he moaned and then she was lifting herself and shifting until she was further up on the bed. She unzipped her pants and his mouth fell open slightly. "Emma, it looks as though you are, but I need you to be certain. I need to hear it."

"I'm certain," she breathed, shimmying out of her jeans. "I want this."

"Once I start," he said roughly, removing his jacket, "I will not be able to stop."

"That's what I'm counting on." She surprised herself with that playful remark, but could not have meant it more. A smirk curved on her lips and she curled her fingers around his wrists, pulling him up to her and then kissed him fully, passionately, fire beginning to burn in her belly in the most delicious of ways. "Show me what you've got, pirate."

"Oh, my love," he grinned wolfishly, never losing the love in his eyes as he told her, "I fully intend to."

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><p><strong>AN: Merry Christmas &amp; Happy Holidays, loves! Hope you enjoyed! Reviews have the same impact on me as Killian's smile. ~Kate<strong>


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